Certified Freak
by Yuuaku Hikari
Summary: She a certified freak, certified top-notch. [Rated M for: sexual themes, language, suggestive situations, sexual harassment, incest, mentions of suicide/self-harm/anxiety/depression, and the like. Read at own discretion. Main pairings RenSly and ClearAo.]
1. Chapter 1

**1.**

* * *

There were, perhaps, hundreds upon thousands of concepts and instances in this universe that Ren was uncertain of. Was there a heaven or hell? Could there possibly be a chance for life somewhere other than this big, beautiful, blue planet he had called "home"? When he gazed up at the stars – what few he could see past the city's pollution – was it possible something else out there would be staring back at him? He could think about these and other such things for an entire lifetime, and he would probably never receive his answer.

Of the few things he _was_ certain of, however, this was pretty damn high on his list:

He did _**not **_want to spend his evening before a big final at a strip club.

The rather large yet slim man sat wedged between some of his fellow classmates who were arguing amongst themselves over the loud and booming bass.

"What the fuck do you _mean_ you 'read the schedule wrong'?!" the one on his left shrieked in a panic, certainly a bit dramatic for a college student in his third year.

"I told you, I thought ladies' night was tomorrow!" the one on his right flailed, almost but not quite as dramatic. Ren fidgeted slightly.

"And what tipped you off, all the fuckin' chicks in here?" His eyes darted over a bit further to his right at another classmate grouped around him.

"Guys..." Ren spoke up though not nearly loud enough to be heard over the music, let alone the intense and unfounded bickering going on. The classmate on his left bounced onto his feet as he grabbed his things in one fluid motion.

"Whatever, let's just go. We can come back after our final and get some _real_ action." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder toward the stages across the room, earning a subtle eye-roll from the quietest of the four. Ren sighed slightly, somewhat irritated with the fact that he was not only dragged out here despite his protests, but he had wasted time he could have spent to do some last-minute cramming only to not even stay to not-enjoy himself.

"Fine. Let's go, Ren. I have some questions I wanna ask you about the study guide," the man on his immediate right lightly tapped his shoulder with his palm.

"Yeah."

Ren joined the others and gathered his things, throwing his bag over his shoulder and rising out of his seat to turn just as the tune over the intercom changed in this sensual R&amp;B number and a chorus of excited screams followed only seconds after.

_I like the way she movin' on me_

He glanced over his shoulder, attention grabbed, and on that stage in the center of the room he could see a spot of blue swaying in time with the rhythm. He couldn't quite make out the dancer's face, but in just the right lighting he could see a few tiny speckles of glitter reflecting off their back and shoulders where torn denim wasn't concealing the skin.

The sight was enough to make him stop in his place.

Their skin was pale, almost like porcelain- no, maybe ivory. It seemed so smooth, the way it pulled and twisted with the muscles that lay just underneath it. Long strands of gorgeous, deep blue hair pooled down the dancer's body almost like a stream, and Ren found himself staring at the way their back muscles tensed as their hips swayed and when they had turned their body completely around, he could've sworn they locked eyes for a moment.

_And shawty she a certified freak_

Oh, wait. That's right, it's a _guy_.

It was like they both froze for the briefest of seconds out of shock and embarrassment and, as though he were in disgust with himself for checking out another dude's body, Ren turned his head away and lightly jogged out the door to catch up with the others.

"Maaaaaan, what a fucking let-down," the classmate from his right sighed. The other two were about to turn the corner to part ways. Ren lifted his hand to bid them good-bye as he and the other continued down this road.

"Well, what can you do? Maybe we can go some other time," Ren shrugged.

_God, I hope not._

"Yeah, I guess. Like Matsuda said, after finals would probably be better. I don't wanna take my test and think of nothing but tits the whole time."

"Hm."

Ren didn't really have much to say on the subject, seeing as how he didn't really find naked bodies attractive. The whole concept of sex in and of itself kind of made him uncomfortable to begin with, and being forced into a situation where he would have to stare at it practically in the face gave him the heebie-jeebies, for lack of a more sophisticated term.

"Oh, yeah. Ren, you finished the guide, right?"

"Ah, right!" He paused in his step to dig through his bag in an attempt to search for his – thankfully – completed study guide. Ah, found it. "Here, you wanted to see this, right?" He handed his pal the packet full of information about what would be on their final.

"Wow, thanks Re-" His friend stopped mid-sentence upon examining the packet. "You seriously finished it?"

"Yeah."

"HOW? There are some things in here that are practically impossible to figure out."

"Maybe for you," Ren nudged at his ribs playfully, bearing a shit-eating grin. "Feel free to borrow it for the night if you're having trouble, though. I think I should be good at this point."

"Holy shit, Ren, you're the actual best!"

Ren only chuckled, hiding the fact that there was actually still a lot he wasn't quite 100% sure on even if his answers in the packet were correct. But, his classmate was in need and, well, who was he to let another student suffer when he could've done something?

"This is where I gotta head off. See you tomorrow?" Ren asked his classmate as he began to turn a corner down another path.

"Yeah, maybe for coffee in the morning. I'll text you. Later," was all he got in response. A sense of uneasiness began to grow deep in the pit of his stomach, but he tried to brush it off and turned on his heel towards his apartment.

A couple streetlights and three flights of stairs later, followed by an agonizingly long trip down an even longer, winding hall, and Ren found himself opening the door to his one-bedroom apartment.

"I'm home."

He knew he wouldn't get an answer. He didn't know when he had picked up this strange habit, alerting an empty household of his arrival, but here he was – calling out to nobody.

After kicking off his shoes and neatly placing them in the cubbyhole by his front door, he shut the door, stepped over the veranda, and abandoned his bag at the foot of the couch on his way to the kitchen to grab some leftovers as a snack.

Ren had managed to score this apartment with the inheritance left by his grandmother. They weren't particularly close, but he was her only grandson and she had her own ways of showing her adoration over the boy. Upon hearing news of her death, he wasn't too terribly distraught – sad, of course, but he was able to go on about his normal life with not much really changing.

That thought alone used to eat away at him and leave him awake late into the night. Should he feel this bad for not being so sad over the death of his grandmother? He was an awful grandson, surely. Who didn't mourn the passing of family?

He searched around in his refrigerator, remembering too late that he had already tossed out those leftovers because they went bad. Silently cursing himself, he shut the fridge door to rummage through his pantry in the hopes that- oh, _hell_ yes.

_**Peanut butter.**_

After digging through his utensil drawer and snagging a spoon, he took the biggest spoonful of peanut butter he could muster, holding the spoonful in his mouth while he screwed the lid back on and returned the peanut butter to its rightful place. He tossed the spoon into the sink to soak, lapping at the wonderful mix of sweet and salty in his mouth the way a dog would when it got stuck to the roof of its mouth.

He left the kitchen, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it into the laundry basket near the bathroom. Half of the peanut butter was consumed by the time he made it to his bed and plopped down onto his back to stare at the ceiling, his shoulder-length black hair bunching up below his skull.

Without warning, the thought of that guy at the club came to mind. The look he gave him started to bother him, that expression of surprise and- Ren could've sworn he saw the other man's body jolt slightly when they saw each other. Did seeing another man at a strip club on ladies' night really shock him all that much?

More than anything, though, the thing that bothered him was that Ren could've _sworn_ he'd seen that guy before, somewhere. Maybe it was just in passing while he was running errands?

No, he wouldn't have left that lasting of an impression.

"Ah, whatever." Ren turned onto his side. Most of the peanut butter was gone at this point. His eyes scanned the room before landing on the illuminated numbers of his alarm clock.

**12:04**

His test was in eight hours and fifty-six – make that fifty-five – minutes. If he were to fall asleep right this instant, he could potentially get maybe five hours and fifty-five minutes of sleep before he would have to get out of bed to shower, brush his teeth, eat breakfast, and mentally prepare himself for the exam. But if he were to sleep in and make it six hours and fifty-fi- four minutes, he would have to skip breakfast; not bathing or brushing teeth was out of the question. If he _really _wanted sleep that badly, he could forgo the whole preparation entirely and just wing it on the exam, earning him a good seven hours and fifty-four minutes. But if he were to wing it on the exam he ran the risk of failing and if hefailedthenhemightnotgettograduatean-

"AUGH."

He tossed over onto his back, throwing his arm to cover his eyes. Why did he let his classmate borrow his notes? He could've used them in the morning to ensure success, but _noooooo_, he had to go and be a nice guy and do this huge favor for people he was almost positive didn't really want him around, anyway.

He slightly lifted his arm and glanced back at the clock.

**12:07**

* * *

**xxxxxx**

* * *

The night was long, and it was hell.

Ren could almost _feel_ the bags he knew were under his eyes. His body was sluggish from getting a grand total of maybe two hours of sleep during the whole night. He was sluggish and he was cranky and his hair was a mess and he was pretty sure he just blew his exam.

_I'm doomed._

The text for coffee never came. He figured it wouldn't, but that didn't really help the slight sting. Whatever. He went for coffee anyway, getting the most caffeinated beverage they had in the smallest of hopes that it would keep him awake enough to make it through the final.

As he walked down the street in the direction of his university, he casually sipped at the coffee – oh, it was sweet with a bitter aftertaste – in his hand, pausing briefly to gently blow on it to cool it down before he burned himself. Gradually, he began to grow more awake as the effects of the caffeine began to kick in and-

Did a spot of blue just turn the corner ahead of him?

He stopped in his step for just a second, blinking to make sure his sleep-deprived mind wasn't just fucking around with him.

He was about to turn the corner anyway, that was on his path to school. A bit wary, he followed suit and froze because – holy shit – lo and behold, there was a familiar wave of blue pulled into a ponytail and cascading down an also familiar but clothed back.

Ren kept a good distance behind the other, finding it strange yet not unlikely for another person to take his route to school. Still...it was too convenient.

After some subtle stalking, which he didn't seem to notice because he kept his headphones on the entire time and didn't look back even once, there came a point where the blue-haired man in front of him stepped aside and stopped, looking around as though he were waiting for someone. He had managed to turn his head just enough to glance over and see Ren...who only stood there frozen, gaping like an idiot with just-a-hair-hotter-than-room-temperature coffee in his hand.

Busted.

"Oh, sorry. Was I in your way?"

Oh, _God_. What was with this guy's voice that just made Ren so fucking _uneasy_?

"N-N-No...Not at all."

The other man stood a small step back regardless, raising an eyebrow at Ren's weird behavior. Ren didn't move an inch, only gulping some spit as he steeled his nerves.

"Do you, by any chance, work at a strip club in the area?" This was probably a terrible idea and an awful way to start out a conversation with someone you didn't know, but god_damn_ it, Ren was tired and not thinking rationally and he just _had_ to know. The blue-haired man's face scrunched in a way that looked not only confused, but downright _offended_.

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

"I just think I've seen you recently, and I was curious."

"And your first thought was, 'Oh dur, maybe I've seen this guy working at a _strip club'_?!" Uh, oh. He was mad.

"N-Not what I meant! I usually take this route to school and I don't think I've seen you before so–"

"I've never seen you before either, dude, but I wouldn't go out of my way to just waltz right up to someone and ask if they work in a strip club."

Ren had to stop himself from bringing his hands to his face to hide his embarrassment and he was sure glad he did because otherwise he would've been screaming in pain from coffee in his eyes at this point.

God, he was so fucking _stupid_.

"Please, let me apologize for coming off so rudely."

"_Please_ do."

The shorter man stood there, arms folded across his chest with an eyebrow still raised. Ren paused for a moment, inhaled deeply, and opened his mouth to speak when–

"Aoba, what the fuck, you left without me."

Ren and this man apparently named Aoba both directed their attention to the voice that came from behind Ren. Ren froze, more than wide awake now.

There stood a literal carbon copy of the blue-haired man. Sure, his hair was a little more unkempt and loose and the way he was currently holding himself just screamed "punk-ass kid" what with the baggy clothes and awful posture but he was an actual, identical copy.

Tw–

"Twins...?" Ren mumbled with confusion to himself. The other-Aoba glanced from the real-Aoba to Ren and upon their eyes meeting, he jolted and widened his eyes slightly.

"Tsurai, you weren't going to get up any time soon and we have finals today. Besides, I wanted to see Clear before class," Aoba sighed with annoyance. Tsurai glanced from Aoba to Ren then back to Aoba, as if he were trying to hide his shock.

"Who's your friend?"

"No clue, this guy just came up and asked if I worked at a strip club 'cause I _guess_ he saw me work–"

Everything in the vicinity seemed to freeze as it dawned on all three men at once.

"TSURAI?!" Aoba practically screamed, "_You're a stripper_?!"

"I am not!"

"Muh?" Ren just looked back and forth between the two men he stood between. Even if he was awake, his brain was sure having a hell of a time trying to process all of this information.

"Bull_shit_! What the fuck are you doing?!"

"I told you, I'm not stripper!" Tsurai's face turned a bright hue of red, though whether it was due to embarrassment or anger, Ren couldn't tell.

"I _knew_ there was a reason you were coming home late and sleeping all the time! Jesus fucking _Christ_!" Aoba was absolutely mortified at just learning his own brother was a stripper.

"Holy shit, you're not listening," Tsurai threw his hands into the air in irritation, rolling his eyes. "I. Am. Not. A. **STRIPPER.**"

Ren was vaguely aware of the scene they were all causing as he watched people gathering around from a distance to check out the commotion. "Uh..."

"Then why does this guy recognize me- well, _you_?" Aoba glanced to the right at Ren before returning his glare to Tsurai. Tsurai avoided eye-contact but gradually began to buckle under the pressure.

"Well-"

"I can't believe you."

"Would you let me finish? Goddamn."

"Maybe we should take this conversation somewhere we won't draw a crowd," Ren chimed in, alerting the other two of the audience they had conjured up in such a short amount of time.

"Fine," Aoba huffed. He led the way to a quieter area as Tsurai dug his hands into the pockets of his over-sized hoodie and followed, Ren tagging along behind. Before too long, there was a secluded part of the alley where the three could talk in peace. "Okay. Go."

"_Thank_ you." Tsurai leaned back against the wall, folding his arms over his chest in a similar manner to Aoba. "Do you want the long version or the short?"

"I don't give a shit, I just want an explanation."

"Fine. To put it bluntly, I work at a strip club. Name's Glitter." Aoba opened his mouth to protest but Tsurai cut him off, "_BUT_. I work as a DJ."

Ren and Aoba both blinked with confusion.

"So...you don't strip."

"_**No.**_" Tsurai rolled his eyes impatiently before glancing over at Ren and pointing a thumb in his direction. "The reason why _this_ asshole recognizes me is because...yes, there was _one_ instance I had to because we had a call-out last night and were short-staffed and we worked with what we had."

"'Asshole'...?" Ren felt an incredible level of guilt. He basically just outed this guy to his brother when he was now obviously trying to keep it a secret. Fuck.

"Anyway, I didn't want you and Granny getting on my ass about it like you are now. Point is, I get paid a decent amount of money and seeing as how_ your_ broke ass doesn't have a job that can pay the bills, I don't think you have any right bitching at me about it. And _you_," Tsurai turned his attention towards Ren, who jumped a little under his gaze, "I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else about this. It's none of your goddamn business."

"You're right. I sincerely apologize for causing such an uproar." Ren bowed his head a bit, feeling absolutely awful for dragging the twins into something that he honestly shouldn't have even dwelled on for nearly as long as he had.

Tsurai twisted his mouth, sensing Ren's guilt and uneasiness.

"...Well...Sorry for the mishap, and for my brother and I being assholes ourselves."

"Speak for yourself."

"Anyway, m'name's Tsurai, in case it wasn't obvious by now. This piece of shit with his panties in a bunch is my brother, Aoba." Tsurai tilted his head in Aoba's direction, earning a _tch_ in response.

"_Older_ brother."

"Holy shit, by two minutes."

Ren almost dropped his coffee just trying to wrap his poor brain around everything. First the final, then being forced out of his comfort zone, then this whole mess he had a huge hand in causing, not to mention all the sleep he lost and-

Oh, **shit.**

"You guys go to the university down the street from here, right?" Ren inquired.

"Yeah, and wow, rude."

"Sorry. My name is Ren."

"Thank you. Anyway, why do you ask?"

"Because finals are about to start, so we–"

"Oh, fuck." Tsurai hopped off the wall and led the other two down the alley in the direction of their college. "Come on, I know a shortcut."

Ren walked with the two in a hurry, feeling absolutely exhausted even though it was only about 8:30, maybe, in the morning.

_Today is going to be a long day._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Welcome back, all! Sorry I've been away for so long, I've been busy with work and life's troubles and such. I heard this song this weekend and it was like a bolt of inspirational lightning struck. Here's to a good run!

DRAMAtical Murder and all of its characters belong to their respective owners. I am in no way, shape, or form making a profit off of the use of their content.

The lyrics from "Certified Freak" belong to their respective owners.


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

* * *

"God-fucking-damn it."

Aoba muttered angrily to himself as he typed away at the phone in his hand. Ren raised an interested eyebrow at the man before Tsurai popped up next to him out of nowhere. "Don't mind him, he's just bitching to his boyfriend, probably."

"Ah." Ren nodded in understanding, somewhat glad that Aoba – hopefully – wasn't too angry with him. He took a sip of his coffee, which became cold and disgusting at this point so he tossed it into the nearest trash can as they walked. The university came into view as they turned another corner to the left.

"So you guys really do go to M University," Ren spoke mostly to himself under his breath. So maybe he did see Tsurai in passing because they went to the same school?

"You bet we do," Tsurai replied, throwing his hands behind his head. "Nii-san over there is studying to be a vet."

"Oh, he likes animals?"

"_Loves_ 'em. He and his beau actually have a Spitz at home. He's still a puppy so he's cute but holy shit, is he a pain in the ass. Every time I go to visit, he's jumping up my leg and wagging his fluffy ass an-and trying his best to lick every fucking inch of my face," Tsurai groaned as he made a very disgruntled expression. Ren couldn't help but to laugh.

"This may be forward of me to say, but I can actually see Aoba-san doting over a small dog like that."

"Oh, believe me, he _does_. Treats it like his own fucking kid." Tsurai kept his focus on the street ahead of them. Ren's grin gradually faded as guilt began to set in again.

"Tsurai-san, I feel I should apologize again for this misunderstanding."

"What for?" Tsurai glanced to his left at the taller man, raising an eyebrow.

"Just...I feel terrible for, well, everything. I shouldn't have confronted you – well, Aoba-san – to begin with and now I feel like I might have gotten you into some awful trouble," Ren's voice trailed off slightly, unable to look at the blue-haired punk to his right.

"Don't worry about it, they would've found out eventually, anyway."

"No, you don't understand," Ren turned to look at Tsurai directly, "I honestly feel I should make it up to you somehow."

"Really, Ren. It's fine." Tsurai's eyebrows furrowed, showing Ren that he wasn't going to budge on the subject, and Ren wasn't going to bring it up anymore. Before anyone had realized it, they arrived at the main entrance.

"Well, I'm gonna meet up with Clear after his final." Aoba's voice reminded the two that, yes, he was still in their company. "Tell Obaa-chan I said 'hi', Tsurai."

"What do I look like, your fucking secretary? You can tell her that yourself," Tsurai retorted, earning a glare that should shoot daggers in his direction. Tsurai only laughed, before Aoba's glare softened and he smirked. They simultaneously saluted each other, middle fingers up and proud, before Aoba went in a different direction from the other two.

Ren thought they were a very odd pair of twins, flipping each other off to say their farewells.

"Well, I suppose we should also be getting to our own classes," Ren sighed before lifting a hand to bid Tsurai his own, more polite, farewell.

The entire time he was walking to his classroom, he felt someone's gaze burned into his back. He tried to shrug it off, thinking not much of it since he had always felt like people were watching his every move. This time, however, it began to bother him more than usual, and the urge to look over his shoulder grew stronger and stronger until he, eventually, stopped and looked behind him.

Looking straight at eye-level, he could see the tops of tuffs of blue hair. Turning his direction a couple inches lower, and he was met face-to-face with a certain blue-haired punk. Said punk looked at him quizzically.

"What?"

"Are you on your way to class?" Ren inquired. Tsurai gave him a look that said, "Of course I am, idiot."

"Oh, it's nearby."

"Duh? I'm in _your_ class, idiot."

An eternity seemed to pass before Ren, with his sleep-deprived little mind, finally registered what was going on. He blinked and his face twisted into one that was like the ugly baby between confusion and skepticism. "Huh?"

"Yeah, dude."

"I'm sure I would've seen you at some point..."

"I always sit in the back, usually before you even get there."

That...would explain so much, actually.

"...Oh. So when you saw me last night and this morning, you were –"

"– horrified because I recognized you as my classmate and thought you would know me. Lucky me, you didn't," Tsurai jeered as he brushed past Ren, the sleeve of his hoodie making contact with Ren's long-sleeved layered t-shirt. Ren turned on his heel to walk alongside the other.

"Why didn't you just say so? I spent half the night trying to figure out why you looked so familiar," Ren was slightly more focused now, having one mystery solved at long last.

"Honestly, I'm surprised _you_ didn't figure it out. I know how seriously you take your studies since you're always the first one to take your shit out and you take down more notes than literally anyone else during lecture." Tsurai didn't look at him the whole way they were walking. Ren felt somewhat offended, but he probably deserved it.

Ren opened the door to their classroom and motioned for Tsurai to walk in through the doorway first.

"Ladies first, huh?"

"Just go."

Tsurai grinned toothily at how irritated Ren seemed to get before he waltz into the room with the taller man following close behind. They both went up the steps and when Ren began to head for his usual seat, he took careful note of where exactly Tsurai had made his own. All the way in the back to the left, hm?

* * *

**xxxxx**

* * *

Ren glanced up from his exam upon hearing footsteps going down the steps, watching as Tsurai made his way down to the lecturer's desk to turn in his desk. His eyes widened as his attention turned from the man to the clock.

_How did he...?_

His thoughts were interrupted with the sound of a door opening and then closing. Oh, he left. He certainly didn't take a lot of time with the final, that was for sure. Ren secretly hoped the kid didn't completely bomb it before he returned to finishing his own test.

About five people had turned in their exams after Tsurai before Ren was done. He double-, then triple-checked his answers to make sure he didn't make any accidental marks or incorrect answers before he, too, grabbed his things and dropped his work off at the desk in the front of the room.

He left the rest of his classmates as silently as possible, taking care to make sure the door didn't make a large noise behind him. He turned away to walk down the hall when he noticed a familiar head of blue sitting alongside the wall across the way from the door, focusing on the phone in his hand.

"Tsurai-san? What are you still doing here?"

"Waiting for you." Tsurai glanced up at Ren without moving an inch before directing his attention back to the phone.

"Wai..." Ren mumbled in disbelief, taken back by his words.

_You...were still here waiting for me to get done?_

"Goddamn it."

Tsurai's irritated voice snapped Ren back to reality. "What's up?"

"My fucking co-worker called out so now _I_ have to come in and train the newbie on how to run the booth. This is the third time this month this fucker's called out, holy _shit_." Tsurai gritted his teeth. He shut his phone and put it into his pocket before leaning back against the wall and sighing. His gaze turned over to the man in front of him. "You still insist on doing me a favor?"

"Uh, sure."

"Swing by Glitter later and bring me some food? I'm not gonna have time to stop by the house and eat after school's done," Tsurai grumbled. Ren nodded.

"Yeah, I can do at least that much. What do you like?"

"Literally whatever. I'm not picky."

"Okay." Ren nodded again. He racked through his brain trying to come up with what he thought Tsurai would probably enjoy, though he didn't know anything except he was a fellow Psych major and he worked as a DJ in a strip club called Glitter.

Tsurai hopped onto his feet, straightening his hoodie and making sure everything was secure in his bag. "Oh, shit. I should let Obaa-chan know I'm gonna be home late tonight."

He brought his phone back out and began to type out an email to send to this "Obaa-chan". Without missing a beat, he and Ren began to walk down the hall as he continued typing.

"Do you and Aoba-san live with your grandmother?" Ren inquired.

"Sure do. She'd kill me if she knew what was up last night." Tsurai put his phone away once he was done. Ren bit his lower lip, the last few minutes eating away at him with curiosity.

"Hey, Tsurai-san."

"Hm?"

"Why did you bother waiting for me?" Tsurai looked over at Ren. "I mean, we hardly know each other and when we were actually introduced, it wasn't exactly on the best terms. You have absolutely no reason or obligation to, so...why?"

"I dunno," Tsurai shrugged. "Guess I felt like it."

That was an unacceptable answer. You don't "just feel like" waiting for someone you don't know.

"...And."

Ren blinked.

"Maybe I thought you seemed like an okay guy. All asshole tendencies aside."

Asshole. So he was still an asshole.

"I see." Ren glanced off to the side.

"Yeah, man. I don't even know, I just get this vibe that you're all right. And – oh, God, this is gonna sound lame – I don't exactly...have any friends."

Ren raised his eyebrows.

"And...I'm sorry if this comes off as rude, but I kinda get the sense that you don't, either."

He couldn't even be mad at that little comment, it wasn't like he was _wrong_. Sure, he hung out with classmates every now and then but, really? Nobody went out of their way to check up on him, or ask him if he was busy except when they had a question. Ren guessed he knew that for a long time and just tried to ignore it.

"So, who knows. Maybe I'm just being dumb and doing this all wrong."

"No, no. I understand." Ren looked away, not quite sure how to take all of this in. Tsurai, too, looked away. In the corner of his eye Ren could see Tsurai was somewhat...what was the word? Not shy, but...God, it was on the tip of his tongue.

"...Anyway, why not." Tsurai returned his gaze to Ren, the two of them prying open a door to leave the building and head outside. "Like you said, who knows? We don't really know each other but I don't see why we shouldn't at least make an attempt to."

"Right." Tsurai nodded.

Suddenly, the word dawned on him.

_Desperate._

In a way, Ren knew how he felt, he supposed.

* * *

**xxxxx**

* * *

Here he was again.

Ren inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Then inhaled, and exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled.

He stared up at the obnoxiously bright and sparkly sign that read _Glitter_ in flamboyant letters for a moment before he directed his attention to the glass door in front of him. The sign read "Closed" but if he's just dropped off Sly's dinner then he should be fine, right? The sun wasn't down yet and this particular club's hours ran predominantly during the late hours so it'd be odd for someone to just waltz on in. What if people saw him go in in broad daylight? What if they started talking about some creep that hung around some shady strip club and everybodyjustknewitwashimand-

He shook his head, some futile attempt to get rid of that anxiety and suck it up and deal with it like a mature adult. A mature adult that...was about to talk into a strip club outside of their hours of operation.

Clutching the plastic bag of food in his hand, he inhaled-exhaled one more time before tensing up and taking that first agonizing step into the building and down the hall.

The...interior was strangely different from last night. Probably due to the lack of crazy lighting and huge crowds, he guessed. It was rather garish in design but the color scheme actually complimented the layout fairly well – not that anyone would be paying attention to the décor. In the very back of the large room, he could see Tsurai going over the specific controls with some blond kid who looked like a foreigner.

"Do you have some business here?" An intimidating voice spoke from the side of him. Ren turned his head and was met with some rather large, blond man with a sharp face and a black t-shirt that apparently fit his build rather snugly. Ren jolted from the eye-contact and found himself at a loss for words, though the thought that this man somewhat resembled a gorilla did cross his mind.

"You're not here to start some trouble, now are you~?" A surprisingly smooth yet equally devilish voice came from behind the gruff man. Out stepped another-

"Wait, more twins?" he groaned.

"_We're not twins._" The two men shot him a slightly glare. The more lanky of the two, clad in the same clothing as the first, pushed up his glasses in irritation.

"At any rate, if you have no business to state for you being here, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave. Otherwise..." The larger of the two cracked his knuckles, "we'll have to use force."

"Knock it off, you two."

All three turned towards the voice. Tsurai stood there with his hands in his pockets looking at the two blond men with annoyance, hips cocked slightly to the side. "He's with me, dude owes me a favor."

And just like that, it was like their whole demeanor changed.

"Absolutely, Tsurai-san~," Glasses beamed, Ape joining in on the smiles. Ren scrunched his face in confusion. What the fuck happened to the whole gruff show they were putting on?

"Will it be you or the new kid running the booth tonight?" Glasses inquired.

"Me for some of the night. Kid needs to watch how the systems here work so at some point he'll be taking over and I'll be watching him." Tsurai spoke so professionally when he was at work, Ren noted. No cussing or attitude except to put his foot down. He was...somewhat impressed, actually.

"Tsurai-san, you do know the regulations regarding guests outside of business hours, don't you?" Ape chimed in, the grin vanished.

"Relax. He's just bringing me food since _somebody_ decided they didn't wanna work tonight," Tsurai spat. "Seriously, Trip, when is that guy gonna get a talking to? He can't keep calling out so last-minute."

Oh, so the gorilla's name was Trip. Interesting.

"You know how the management is, Tsurai-san. Any more incidents and they'll have no choice but to take care of it," Glasses responded.

"I know, Virus," Tsurai sighed. "I know."

_W...We-...Weeeee-rus...?_

"Anyway, leave this guy be for now. He's just running an errand for me since I had to call in a favor." Tsurai took a step towards Ren, eying Virus and Trip as a sign for them to get lost.

"Very well, Tsurai-san. We are looking forward to your performance tonight," Trip beamed as he turned on his heel to check out some of the fire exits.

"Yes, it is truly the highlight of our job." Virus followed suit, going to the other corner of the room to check up on the sound system. Tsurai sighed before leading Ren out the door.

"Sorry for that, they're idiots."

"No, it's fine." Ren turned his head slightly to glance over at the shorter man walking beside him. As he had done before, he pried the front door open and allowed Tsurai to exit first.

"Thanks."

"Th'pleasure's mine." Ren followed after Tsurai before holding out the plastic bag towards him. "Here, I picked up some takoyaki for you."

"Oh, _shit_." The biggest grin Ren had ever seen on another human being's face broke through at hearing what his dinner would be, eyes widening almost twice their size. He could only stare at the other man's joyful and warm smile, feeling that same warmth build up somewhere deep in his gut.

He had...an absolutely _stunning_ smile.

"Oh my God, takoyaki's my favorite thing on the face of the planet, next to Obaa-chan's donuts. I can never find a place that has it! Ren, you're seriously the best!"

He froze.

_Ren, you're the best!_

Yeah, right.

That warmth vanished in the blink of an eye. "Y-Yeah, no problem."

"So I guess this makes us even then, huh?" Tsurai glanced over at Ren, taking a stick of takoyaki out of the take-out box. He paused, sensing the man's uneasiness. "...You okay?"

"Hm?" Ren snapped his attention back to Tsurai. "Uh, yeah. Just...uh, kind of concerned."

"For?"

"Your safety." It was a lie. Well, not entirely an lie, at any rate. "These kinds of places are notorious for being shady. Are you all right being here?"

"You don't have to worry about me," Tsurai quipped, shoving a ball of deliciousness into his mouth. "Ighan gick sohm maaaagjor agss–"

"Tsurai, I can't understand a single word you're saying."

Tsurai quickly chewed and swallowed the takoyaki in his mouth before he started over. "I can kick some major ass if anyone decides they wanna mess with me. Not like they'd ever get a chance to."

"Hm?"

"Virus and Trip, the bouncers? At the end of the night after the girls are seen to their cars, they follow me basically the whole walk home. It's irritating, honestly. Those two just don't leave me the fuck alone whenever I'm on shift."

"They did seem pretty friendly towards you," Ren agreed, glancing back behind him briefly towards the closed door. Things were just beginning to get harder to see due to the sun going down when suddenly everything became illuminated as the streetlights came on.

"Ahh, thank you for the meal," Tsurai closed the take-out box and bowed his head in thanks. He left Ren's side briefly to dispose of the garbage. "Oh, by the way, mind if we swap addresses?"

"Oh?" Ren dug through his pocket for his phone. "Sure, no problem."

The two swapped information. "There we go, now I've got, uhh...what's your last name?"

Oh, shit. Did they completely forget that whole formality?

"Ah, it's Inukobe."

"Ren Inukobe? Written like this?" Tsurai showed Ren his phone screen. After a couple seconds of looking it over, Ren nodded.

"And your's?"

"Seragaki."

"Got it." Ren put his phone back into his pocket once his own information was verified. A bell jingled behind them with the opening of a door.

"Tsurai-san, you're needed at the booth." It was Trip.

"Be right there," Tsurai responded and watched Trip vanish back into the building. "Ugh, I will pay you to kidnap me so I don't have to put up with their bullshit tonight."

"Haha, no can do this time," Ren chuckled, shrugging. Tsurai nodded with an exasperated _yeah_ in response. He was about to walk back inside when he paused.

"Oh, uhh...about last night?" Tsurai turned to look back at Ren.

"Yeah?" Ren returned the gaze.

"That...was a one-time thing. Don't expect to stop by and see anything like that again."

Ren smirked. "Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

**xxxxx**

* * *

Just as Ren had stepped through the doorway into his apartment, his phone went off with a tone to signal a new email. He pulled it out of his pocket, flipped it open, and saw that it was Tsurai.

"Already? Shouldn't he be at work?" he asked nobody in particular before opening it to see what was up.

_'OH MY GOD YOU WOULD NOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. WE JUST HAD A GUY UP AND FUCKING QUIT SO NOW EVERY LADIES' NIGHT THEY WANT ME TO FILL IN. I'M FUCKING PISSED AND I CAN'T SAY NO BECAUSE THIS IS MY JOB. FUCK ME.'_

He couldn't help but laugh- no, guffaw at the message and just how _angry_ it was.

_'I'm very sorry to hear that. ._.'_

***bing bing bing***

_'It's whatever, I guess. This just means you're banned from the place for a while until we get a replacement. I am NOT reliving that. Fuckin' assholes.'_

He only chuckled. Honestly, while he could understand why Tsurai would be so adamant against being seen like that again, he felt the man was making much too big a deal out of it. He himself had been there, done that.

"..."

_'Wouldn't dream of it. :)'_

_'Good.'_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

What, what, gettin' two chapters out in a span of maybe 12 hours? Senpai is on a roll! I am so ready for their relationship to take off, I'm practically about to explode.

DRAMAtical Murder and its characters belong to their respective owners. I am not in any way, shape, or form making a profit off of the use of their content.

"Certified Freak" and its lyrics belong to their respective owners.


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